My Beloved
by Kasumi Zakura
Summary: Alice was in Bella's place, and she was the human. She had just moved to Forks and attending High School, when she found something that she had never been searching for...
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Preface

**Pairing: **Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 11/20/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 269

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I knew I was always sheltered from the real dangers of the world. I never thought about the day I would die and disappear from this world. Though, I wasn't worried at all, because I had someone to protect that was more important than life itself.

I stared blankly at the vicious eyes of the tracker. My body was paralyzed from the fear that was spreading inside of me. It was too late to take everything back and start over. I couldn't feel the pain anymore, but I could smell my blood splattered across my white shirt. I winced at the smell of my own blood, I was so nauseated, I couldn't even think properly.

Sometimes I wish that I never gone to live in Forks, I could avoid my death, and keep on breathing for another day. But, I couldn't bring myself to regret my decision. After all, I had met my soul mate here. My dream was slowly turning into a living nightmare. I suppose when you thought that life was flawless, it was bound to come to an end.

I felt the tracker's hand pulling hard on the roots of my hair, resting a dirty fingernail on the soft flesh of my neck. I wanted to shriek in agony, but instead I remained motionless. Waiting patiently for my end to come, as long as he was safe from this monster's grasps, I was fine with it all.

Please, I thought, if I was to die, I wish to see my angel's beautiful face once more…


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Nightmare

**Pairing:**Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 11/25/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

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Hand in hand, my mother and I walked through the crowded airport. I kept my face straight, because I didn't want her to see the tears that were welling up in my eyes. Neither of us spoke a single word, since the minute I walked out from the door of my home in sunny, glorious Phoenix. Where was I heading to? Oh right… Some place named Forks, a small town that was constantly covered by a blanket of clouds. Sighing, I tightened my grip on my mother's hand, how I was going to miss her.

"Alice, you know that you don't have to do this, no one is forcing you. Stay with Byron and me, we will always have a place for you. Please don't leave us…"

"I know that mom, but I guess I just wanted a change for a while. Dad is always so lonely there." I knew I was horrible at lying, but I think that she will buy my story this time. "I love you mom, and I will come and visit you as soon as possible. Don't worry about me so much."

"Bye, honey, have a nice time at Robert's."

"I will…"

As I boarded the plane, I kept my low until I plopped down into my seat. I gazed longingly out of the tiny window. I took one last look at my home. It was always beautiful with cloudless blue skies and a bright golden sun. I tried not to think about my mom Elaine. She was always so vulnerable. She needed me to take care of her. But, I'm running off and abandoning her, even if she found some else to take care of her, I felt horrible inside.

Turning my head away from the window, I rested my head and closed my lavender eyes. I drifted off to sleep, there I was so alone. Darkness consumed me, making me feel small and insignificant. I collapsed on the ground, shaking with fear, but there it was, a sliver of light in the black void, two orbs of light. They were glowing like some rare jewel, so mystic and exotic. But then, I realized that they were eyes, but who could such eyes belong to? I ran, away from the light, I remained hidden in the darkness, gasping for breath. The eyes had followed me, returning into my view once more. My throat was aching and dry. I couldn't even manage out a decent scream, and that was pathetic. I waited patiently for it to devour me, ripping me apart. Instead, the eyes just stared at me, with mild curiosity. A little bit of light flooded through. Then, a gorgeous face came into view. Pale as the moon, adorned with sharp defined features. His ruffled golden, blond hair was falling against his face, and his perfect lips curled into a smile, revealing sharp, long fangs. For a moment, I sat there dazed, just staring into his warm, mesmerizing topaz eyes. A long pale hand reached for my soft throat, I could feel his icy touch dancing on my skin. I felt sudden pleasure, despite myself. His hands cupped my face as he inched closer, a crooked smile plastered on his face. For some particular reason, I wasn't afraid at all, I just sat there like a statue, letting myself be offered to him like a prize. I knew exactly what he was, of course he was mythical. How else could someone be so godlike? Everything went smoothly, just to my liking. Until the moment his fangs dug into my tender flesh, and thin trails of red liquid oozed from the cut. I let out a shriek of agony, as I struggled to get away. But, he kept his stone hard grip on me, not letting me escape. I managed to lift my head with some effort, and I noticed the drastic change in his eyes. They were as red as blood… He was a monster! A monster in the form of a human, will somebody help me, anybody?!

I woke up with a startle, as the tears rushed out uncontrollably. I buried my face in my chest, sobbing quietly to myself. What was he? I hope I would never see him again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Meeting

**Pairing:**Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 11/27/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

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The four hour flight from Phoenix to Forks ended within a few hours. My mind was still spinning from that horrifying dream, though I couldn't help but blush when I pictured his handsome face. To be honest, I was both frightened and attracted to him, and my chest felt hot and heavy whenever I thought of him. When I stepped out of the plane, Robert came to pick me up in his police cruiser, and I could see the bright lights from a mile away. How embarrassing... I tried not to be seen, sunken into the front seat. Robert looked the same as before, a few laugh lines going across his broad face, a mop of curly black hair on his head. He had the same lavender eyes as me, an endless void of nothingness. He was always very awkward around me, because I never really spent anytime with him. I only visited a couple of times in the summertime when I was younger, but that's about it. Neither of us dared to speak, so I just gazed out of the window, watching the endless green zoom pass my sight. Finally, he broke the silence, "Alice, so how do you think if Forks?"

"Well, it's a bit too green, and is there anything around here? It feels a bit empty…"

He laughed slightly, "Alice, sorry but we don't have much here, after all it is a pretty isolated place."

"Ah… I see."

I returned to my window gazing until Robert spoke up again, "I know you're seventeen now Alice, so I decided to get you car, I know how strange it is riding in this"

"Thank you Rob- Dad" I tried to look interested "So, what type is it?"

"Well, it's a jeep, very old but functional, I bought it off my old friend Billy Black, you'll see it soon enough."

"Okay." I didn't ask any further questions, I really couldn't care less about cars right now.

Couple minutes later, we arrived back at our house. It was still a pasty, faded blue. Small in size, but livable for two people, my small black suitcase stood limply against me, I had almost forgotten it was there. We made our way through the house as he left me to unpack in my room, still the same ugly white. With a medium sized bed, a desk with an old computer sitting on it. I dropped onto my bed from exhaustion, as I remembered that I had to attend school tomorrow, oh fantastic…

I didn't sleep a wink. I was afraid of him appearing in my dream again, but even so finally I gave in and took a small nap. It was the same place, completely black, shrouded entirely by darkness. Though this time, I could feel that I was being watched by the same blood red eyes. I ran without hesitation, feeling the air wisp pass my cheeks. After a while, I stopped and gasped for breath, why is he following me? What did I do? I closed my eyes and panted from the sprinting, but when I opened my eyes all could see was red. I screamed. There was blood staining every corner, covering me from head to toe "Ahhhhhhhh!" I woke up with a loud scream. I shivered, and tried to remain calm. So, I stumbled into the shower, letting the cool water wash away my fears. Then it hit me, I had school today. Oh no…

When I got out, I slipped on my white blouse, and my dark blue skinny jeans. I also wore my favorite necklace. It had a large raindrop hanging from a silver chain, when Robert and my mom first got married. He presented her with this instead of a ring, because he couldn't afford one yet. Running a delicate hand through my spiky black hair I felt slightly better, but I was still a bit dizzy, the floor seems to spin beneath me. I arrived downstairs only to find that my dad had already left for work. So I skipped breakfast, and made it outside, it was pouring out. I frowned slightly but set that matter aside. The drive to school wasn't long, but the old truck my dad had brought me was really insulting, I tried hard to blush. Minutes later I arrived at the high school, parking my old truck next to a sleek B.M.W. that made my car seem like trash.

Forks high school was a tall building with faded red bricks. I went to the front office. I knocked on the window pane, and the secretary appeared, she eyed me, and wordlessly handed me a stack of tall stack of papers. She gestured a hand in a direction and went back to her work. I thanked her and trudged my way to my first class, Chemistry. I wasn't uncoordinated, but I was quite short, the stack of papers was a great burden, also my backpack was pulling me down slightly. I stumbled forward and the pile paper went flying out of my hands. I officially hate this day. A boy came to help me. He had rusty brown hair and sky blue eyes, and a great, huge smile on his face. He helped me collect my papers and looked at me appreciatively. "Hi, I Mike Newton, you must be Alice Swan!"

"Oh, hello" I was surprised that he was so friendly, a bit too friendly actually… Were all boys like this, here?"

"So, which class do you have right now, Alice?"

"Chemistry, I think"

"Cool, we're in the same class, I walk you there!" He looked unusually pleased at this.

"Sure, thanks," I said blandly "let's go"

We walk together to Chemistry class just down the hall, but he had always tried to edge closer to me since then. I felt annoyed but ignored it. When we walked into the class, I went straight up to the teacher and handed him my papers, he smile and introduced himself. Then he scanned the classroom for a seat. He pointed to an empty seat near the back. I turned around and made my way to my seat, not bothering to see who it was. But when I raised my head to see who it was, I froze in my tracks. The blood escaped from my face as my breathing tensed. There sitting still as a statue, beautiful as a Greek carving was him… His eyes were black tinted with bits of red, wavy blond hair surrounding his gorgeous face and a large scowl hanging on his full lips. It was unmistakably him, in the flesh. Sitting there just a meter away from me, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was too frightened to say anything, so I remained there motionless. Just then I felt my body going limp as I collapsed on the ground with a thud, my classmates looked at me with worried expressions. The last thing I remembered before everything went black was his cold, stone like hands finding its way around the small of my back, and the wild, frantic gleam in his black eyes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, though as much as I want to own Jasper I can't…


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Guilty

**Pairing:** Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 11/29/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

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What happened to me? I wondered. My head hurts so badly. I slowly opened my lavender eyes to take in the scenery around me. Wait a minute, why I am I above the ground? I gasped, as I raised my head to see his beautiful face just inches away from mine, his cool breath dancing on my skin. I struggled and tried to escape from his iron grasp, though I failed to do so. I helpless lay in his arms like a child, afraid of what will happen to me next.

"Alice?" he spoke in a voice smooth like velvet, "are you alright?"

"Y-yes" His presence suddenly seemed so comforting, I was still frightened inside, yet I completely forgotten, as if that was just a fading dream.

"Alice" He spoke again, a bit more cautious this time, "could you please come with me for a moment" His eyes were full of concern, but there was something else- Hunger.

"Where?," I asked without thinking, in the dim light of the empty hallways he looked just so perfect, I can't believe I was lying here in his arms.

"Just come with me alright?" His voice became urgent, as he licked his red lips together hungrily.

I trembled in his arms, but it was too late to turn back now. There was no one else around. Even if I call for help no one would answer me.

He turned into an empty classroom at the end of the long corridor, slamming the door shut behind him.

The fear that I once knew crept back into place.

He walked into the darkest corner, faster than my eyes could see. He looked around anxiously, but then calmed down, knowing that there weren't anybody around.

He didn't let me go. I was still chained to him. I never imagined him so frightful. I could hear my breathing tensing up, and my heart beating like crazy in my chest. Before I could utter out a single word, he covered my mouth with one long, pale hand. His other hand wound itself around my small waist, pulling me closer to him. Then, he spoke so fast that I couldn't even comprehend. It sounded like he was apologizing to me, but I couldn't be sure. His eyes were locked on mine, like a child with a brand new toy. I was fascinating to him. He leaned forward slightly, and I shut my eyes, I was ready for the worst. My nightmare was playing right in front of me. His sharp fangs ripped off the collar of my blouse, breaking my raindrop pendant along with it. It fell to the floor, the chain broken entirely. Though, he seemed to be enjoying himself, he laid his head in the crook of my thin neck, inhaling my scent, and a wet tongue slipped out to taste my skin. It made its way down my collar bone, and then he stopped. He raised his cold lips to my neck once more and moved in to kill me. I was so frightened and delighted at the same time, I couldn't control the flow of tears that trailed down my cheeks. Noticing this he stopped immediately, his crimson eyes filled with regret. After a moment, he released his iron grip on me, and I fell onto the cold floor once more. He had turned his back on me, before dashing at an unbelievable speed to the door. Then, he disappeared into the isolated halls, his hands rolled into tight fists at his sides. His body shaking violently all over, as his shoes glided across the marble. I lay there sprawled across the floor, gasping for breath. I touched my neck with a shaking hand, it was cold as ice. I knew what he was from the beginning, yet I wanted to convince myself otherwise. I should have stayed away, and kept my distance from him. I should have ran, the moment I first saw him, but I couldn't because I realized that I was falling hard for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Echo

**Pairing:** Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 11/30/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

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From somewhere I heard light footsteps approaching me. A pale, delicate hand helped me up. I couldn't see anything my eyes were a blur, from all the crying. Who was it? When I stepped out into the hallway, I could briefly make out the shape of a woman with luscious, dark hair and brilliant topaz eyes. She spoke in a voice like tinkling bells, "Alice, how are you feeling? I am so sorry for what Jasper did to you."

"I fine" I managed out a whisper, I knew that my voice was cracking, "Where is he?"

"We don't know" She wrapped an arm around me, trying to comfort me. I felt slightly better, but her touch was ice cold. It reminded me of his hands on my skin. I felt my heart thumping unevenly, I needed some fresh air.

She guided me towards the classroom, where my classmates were waiting impatiently.

"I'll see you later Alice." She gave my hand a tight squeeze, turned and left.

When I entered the room I could feel every pair of eyes on me, as they studied me, eyeing my ripped collar and broken necklace with curiosity. Also, the flowing tears that rushed out and trailed down the side of my swollen face. I dragged my feet behind me and headed to my seat, I caught myself before I could tumble forwards. I collapsed in my chair, staring at the empty seat beside me, his sweet scent still lingering in the air. The teacher glanced at me sideways to make sure I was alright, and then he turned back to his lecture.

Behind me I heard two girls giggle with delight "Isn't she so lucky, I mean Jasper carried her away, I wish that was me!"

"I know! She's not even that pretty. He scooped her up as if she was some kind of princess."

"Yeah, but it's weird how his face looked so desperate, he stared at her as if she was food."

After a couple of minutes, I finally had enough and excused myself, only to find Mike following close behind me. I clenched my teeth together and disappeared into one of the many intersecting hallways, hoping to lose him somehow. But, he caught up immediately. Before pinning me to the wall with one hand, I hit my head on the hard wood, it tinged. I glared at him, but I realized that he looked hurt.

"What the hell did Hale do to you, Alice?" He hissed.

"It's none of your business Mike." He shook me angrily.

"Look, Alice, I thought you were going to be mine, but he stole you from me! That dog, what did he do? He shouted at my face. He tore off what was left of my collar, and threw the pieces onto ground. I gasped with shock. He hovered over me and pulled my face closer to his, his eyes were flaring with rage. I pushed him away, as the images played again in my head. NO! I thought, never, help… Where are you? I need you right now… Then, from the back of my head, I heard a low snarl, almost like a ripping sound. It commanded me "Alice, get away from him, now!" I obeyed without a second thought, finding my escape. I raised a hand to his face and slapped him with all my might. I felt apologetic, "I'm so sorry Mike, but… You're not for me."

I took off, leaving him alone. I felt disgusting.

The velvety voice in my head spoke once more, "Alice, are you alright? Please answer me!"

"I'm okay" Inside, I felt more than relieved, he was still here, he never left. "Where are you?" I whispered, but no one answered, it must be my imagination playing tricks on me again. After all I might never get to see him again.

The rest of the day seemed like a complete blur, I sat in the back corner of the classroom, my head resting against the back.

That night, I came home and headed straight for my room, Robert said nothing and let me be, he knew how fragile I could be. I climbed onto my bed and curled up in a ball, as I slowly rocked back and forth. From downstairs, I heard Robert watching a baseball game. I rolled onto my side and stared out into the black outside. How I wish I could see him again, I realized my feelings for him in the end, but I suppose it was too late now, I was always one step too late…


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Bloom

**Pairing:** Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/01/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

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I never felt more at ease, I was soaring above the clouds. But, of course there was always something that was pulling me down.

I woke up to another depressing morning, rain clouds coating the sky with gray, I was used to Forks, it had been several days now. Life turned into an endless pattern, every morning Robert would have long left before I woke up. I would skip breakfast and trudge towards my old truck. School also turned just like ordinary, I avoided Mike as much as possible. I have not made many new friends in the process, I was always alone. Besides that, things were going alright, my grades were excellent and I was the starlet in every class. But, every morning when I arrive in Chemistry, a lump would from in my throat. I had to blink back the tears every morning as I stared hard at his empty seat. Although today it was different, I was overjoyed, delighted to catch a glimpse of him. He looked exactly as I remembered, gorgeous from every view, tall and lean, topaz eyes glowing like jewels underneath the bright lights above. It took my every composure not to throw my arms around him, and beg him to never leave again. His eyebrows creased together when he saw me approach him, and he tensed up, as if I was something absolutely revolting. I sniffed a loose strand of my hair, I smelled like lavender. I slowed my pace and sat down beside him. I saw him automatically raising a hand to shield his face from me. His entire body was angled as far away from me as the desk allowed. His knuckles were creating hallow dents on the metal desk. I was also keeping a good distance from him, because I knew how dangerous he was, yet something stopped me, almost like an instinct. I knew the part of him that wanted to devour me whole, yet every part of him makes me feel lightheaded. Finally after what seemed like eternity he straightened up and greeted me in his light, beautiful voice. "Hello Alice, I almost forgot to introduce myself." His voice was strained. I could easily tell that he was forcing himself to speak to me.

"Oh, it's okay" I shuffled uncomfortably, my hair falling into my eyes.

"I'm Jasper Hale."

"I know I've met you before…" He frowned, his face suddenly sullen.

"So you remember…" His face fell, almost scowling.

He looked up at me suddenly, and I felt my heart stop in its place. "Alice," He said, and with one trembling hand tucked in one lock of my spiky hair behind my ear "I'm don't know how to apologize for everything I did to you." He laid his shaking hand on mine and clutched it tightly, even though it was ice cold, I felt unusually warm "I am so sorry, I can't even forgive myself for what I did." He smiled, but I could feel his pain, "Do you think I'm a monster?"

"N-no, never" I stuttered out, he sighed and ran his free his hand through his silky blond hair. His eyes shut, and he looked as if he was deep in thought. "I ruined everything again…"

"How" I asked in a small voice.

He opened his dazzling eyes and whispered into my ear "I wanted you too much, now look how much I hurt you, but Alice please let me stay by your side for a while." Heat escaped from my cheeks, I was so happy, I didn't know what to say, the images of before torn into shreds and flew away from my memories. I whispered back "I forgive you… and I couldn't stop thinking of you…" He showed a sad smile, but it was sincere in every way. He removed his hand from mine and kept his distance, but his chair was slightly angled to me. I felt so blissful. I had never felt this alive before. It seems like something straight out of a fairytale, and I was so grateful for his presence, the part of me that had once feared him, completely melted away. I wanted to feel his skin on mine again, he was everything and more that I ever wanted. I felt him snake an arm around my waist, holding me a bit closer to him, his hand rubbed small circles on my back. I snuck a peek at him, he looked very much comfortable, but I could see that his resistance was weak, and any second he might eat away at me, but I pushed those thoughts away. After class had ended, I couldn't remember what we discussed at all in class, my attention was else where. He hesitantly walked me to my next class, music. I gave him a silent goodbye and pushed open the giant double doors, but instantly he stepped in front of me, he bit his lip hard, considering for a second. Then, he breathed in a lungful of air and traced his cool fingers from my cheekbones, to my crook of my neck, gently touching the spot where he had almost bit me. His eyes stared hard at me, and I could feel how much he desired my blood. But then he turned on his heel and left. I was left rather confused, but I felt wonderful, I knew where this might lead into, my ultimate sacrifice, but I would gladly give my life to him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: Near

**Pairing:** Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/05/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 806

These past few days were simply like a dream, I hope that it will last forever and beyond. Every morning, I would wake up with a great, big smile on my face, eager to arrive at school and see his face again. He was still uneasy about what had happened a few days ago, but there was warmth in his amazing topaz eyes. He would always walk me to my next class, but kept several short paces behind me, and when he left he would swiftly brush his cold hand against my cheek and then say his silent goodbye. I thought of him more than anything else, he was always there clouding my dreams, I couldn't get him off my mind, he was just too perfect for me, I told myself. Eventually he'll move on… He would find someone else. I would be the forgotten past. I pushed those horrified thoughts away, for the time being at least. I hopped on one foot sliding on my white flats, when suddenly I felt the air stop rushing through my lungs. For a moment I was so frightened, what's happening? I couldn't breathe at all. Something was blocking my throat. I choked slightly. I dropped to my knees from exhaustion. Soon, my throat begun to unravel, I could make light sighs. But, ignoring the pain, I rushed to my old truck, slammed the door shut, and headed onto the road. I couldn't see very straight, and the road was starting to frost. My stomach was doing back flips, as I slide further into my seat. Squinting my eyes together and biting lightly on my lower lip. When I arrived at school, it was still bright and early, the sky was colorless. I parked my truck in the nearest spot I could find, hopped out of my seat, my schoolbag hanging from shoulders. I scanned the field anxiously, but I couldn't find him anywhere. My shoulders dropped, he didn't leave again, right? Please, I-I don't know what I would do with myself… Was it because of me again? I crossed the parking lot, with my head bent low, not bothering to see where I was going. Tears were almost tumbling from my eyes. Halfway across, I slowed down slightly, looking forward, only to see his breath-taking face in my sights, a smile broke out, and I rushed forward. Then everything happened so quickly, my mind was a complete mess that I couldn't follow. I heard screams and yells directed in my direction, and I saw his composed face break as he stared at me, with sheer horror. Somewhere behind me, I heard the ear piercing screech of tires, and his unnatural speed reaching towards me, "Run Alice!" I heard his symphony voice ranging like bells in my ears. Turning around, I felt unspeakable pain. A metal surface crashed onto my small frame, sending me flying across the concrete, I automatically recognized Mike's face from behind the glass, glowing with satisfaction. But, I wasn't upset at all. I landed in his stone arms, he was one step too late to save me, he could only hold up my broken body in his arms. A pool of blood appeared beneath me, staining my favorite blouse, my hair fell loose, it lay in a soft curtain beneath me, but it was covered with red, so was the rest of my body. I was afraid he would reveal what he was in front of such a crowd, but he simply buried his face in my soaked hair, trembling uncontrollably, yelling out my name, pleading for me to open my eyes again. I managed to lift one arm to cup his face with my hands. I forced a smile, ignoring the pain that shot through my entire body. "Thank you, you saved me…" He looked shattered for a second, he was burning with regret. I knew death was near for me. I kept reminding myself that it would eventually come one day, and it just happened to be today. He was here with me, so I couldn't feel anything. I struggled to keep my eyes open, the many voices I heard all seemed to be mumbles. I just laid there, a destroyed doll. From above, I saw the little fragments of white dancing down. It was snowing… My blood was staining it crimson though, spreading across the ground. He paid no attention to the blood that he once desired so, he just held me tightly against his sculptured chest, begging for me to answer him. I wanted to so badly, yet my throat was hard and dry, I couldn't utter out a single word. I couldn't feel any life left in me, until the moment he crashed his icy lips onto mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: Burn

**Pairing:** Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/10/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 714

Everything was still a blur, a mindless array of colors jumbled together. I lay there, in an unfamiliar room, bright with white lights. I could feel conscious seeping back, awakening my senses. My body numb with pain, my head spinning, and my ears ringing loudly. Where in the world am I? I wondered. My throat was too dry to speak. I can only hear tiny noises, but one voice I distinguished clearly, it was Jasper, simply had to be… The perfect blend of symphony, more beautiful than anything else I've ever heard in this world. But there was another voice, also smooth and flawless. Hovering above me, I could briefly make out the handsome features on Jasper's face. Beside him, tall and godlike was another man, he looked exactly like Jasper, with a pale face and absolutely stunning features, made for someone from the heavens.

"Carlisle, what should I do?! I can't simply watch her die in front of me… And I couldn't do that to her, she means too much to me!" His voice was broken, desperate. His face shattering as he spoke.

"Jasper, you'll have to make a choice, after all she won't make it for much longer…"

"I-I know… But- I can't, she's means the world to me. I never loved someone so dearly."

"I'm so sorry Jasper…" I heard god's footsteps fade away. only Jasper and I remained in the room. He knelled down by the stretcher, his cold hand holding mine tightly to his chest. I couldn't feel his heartbeat. He remained still as a statue by my side until he whispered to me in a soft almost inaudible voice.

"Alice, if you can still hear me, I want to apologize for all the cruel things that I did to you. You should have had a happy life, and a loving family of your own, but I'll change that, I'll take away everything that belonged to you. I'll turn you into a ruthless, disgusting monster like me, please forgive me…"

No! That's not true!

"I love you Alice…"

With that he bent down his head and gave me a light, feathery kiss on my forehead, closed his topaz eyes and then moved towards my bleeding neck. His tongue slipped out brushing away the beads of blood, and then his fangs dug into my tender flesh, little by little, until they penetrated through my skin. I felt as if I was being ripped apart. The pain was indescribable. I wanted escape. I wanted to stay. Yet, something was keeping me there, I was frozen, with fear, with desire, I was losing to myself. I could just lay here and find myself again inside of him.

He was sucking away my life. I don't know how much blood I lost, but the crimson liquid was spilling everywhere, everything was red. He didn't want to stop. I could see the hunger still burning wildly in his eyes. I was merely an offering. I was food to him, something delectable and crisp like an unbitten apple. But, nothing more than that… I had him in my grasp, but I lost him. He never belonged to me. I didn't know what I was thinking, such an amazing creature, and something as plain and simple as me, it just didn't fit together. I fought away the unwanted tears, but eventually they poured out, the venom was spreading throughout my broken body. I felt like I was empty, my body was like a hallow shell, my heart cracked into a million different pieces that flew into the oblivion. I felt as though there was only my tortured soul within the body that no longer seemed to be mine. The pain slowly subsided until the burning came. The undying fire consumed me, devoured me whole. Make it stop! Please! I'm burning. I'll end up in ashes. I grabbed a fistful of Jasper's golden locks of hair, clenching my teeth to prevent me from howling with agony. Every part of my swollen body erupted in flames. How I wish I could already die, what did I do to deserve this? How long will it be until my suffering ends? Someone answer me…


	9. Chapter 9

**Title**: Stranger

**Pairing: **Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/19/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 646

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My body felt hot, it was like a million sharp knives were digging deeply into my tender flesh, penetrating throughout my body. I had forgotten how long it has been, it was as if time stopped, and for the rest of eternity I will remain here and rot. The never dying flames roared day and night, rising to the sky, sending sparks flying. I couldn't feel anything anymore; my body didn't seem to belong to me. I prayed, I wanted my misery to end so badly, and above all else I wanted to see him before I turn to ashes that stain the ground with black. But, god must have forgiven me for my many sins. The burning slowly disappeared and faded into white. I had found myself once again. The burning sensation eventually turned to an end, and after what seemed like forever, I opened my sore eyes to take in the image of a new world. Everything was so clear. I could even make out the tiny dust particles that drifted down from the high ceiling. I admired my surroundings. It was as though I'd never really looked beyond my tiny world, to see something entirely new.

"Alice?" The musical voice whispered to me, it was filled with different emotions, joy, regret and relief.

He was there, waiting for me… Exactly as I remembered him, a flawless painting created by a famous artist as the face of an angel. I spun off the stretcher so fast that the room would spin in circles around me, but my feet were firmly planted on the ground, supporting me up. My arms were out stretched in front of me. I wanted to embrace him, to have him in my arms again, to feel his cool breath brushing across my skin bringing me unthinkable pleasure. He hesitantly moved towards me, careful not to startle me with any sudden movements. Inhaling a sharp breath he approached me, until our chests were almost touching. His eyes were full of unbearable pain. I could see the fierce anger seeping through the glassy surface.

"I turned you into something as hateful as I am. I'll understand if you hate me for this. " He said in a shaken voice, as he brushed his hand against my face. It wasn't cold for once, and it was felt just right.

"What are you talking about?!" I immediately demanded him, begging him to answer me, to tell me that he was wrong. My voice sounded so different, like wind chimes, dancing in the wind. Then, I saw my reflection in his sorrowful eyes, and everything shattered around me. I saw a complete stranger, that wasn't me… She was fluid even in stillness. Her face pale as the moon, thin in extreme. She had soft fringes of black hair that surrounded her beautiful face like a halo. But, her eyes, her crimson eyes that were like two pools of blood, gazed menacingly back at me. The wind got knocked out of me, as I fell to my knees; I had no fire left in me.

"_What_ am I?" I nearly screamed. The stranger was still there facing me, mimicking my every movement. Before I could escape, Jasper dropped down to my height, and snaked his long, strong arms around me, preventing me from moving. He ran his hands through my hair, murmuring to me in his gentle voice, reassuring me that it was going to be alright. But, how can it be okay if I was a disgusting, filthy monster? The Alice that I once knew was eaten by the other, and now I was reborn as the very person I was frightened of the most. That dream, that fading dream, will haunt me forever, for as long as I'll live…


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: Outsider

**Pairing: **Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/24/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**:

From my reflection I saw someone unfamiliar, even to me… She was a complete stranger, or was it me? I couldn't believe my eyes, how could someone so inhumanly beautiful be me, plain, old me?

I could feel the hairs on my arms stand on its end, Jasper never spoke a word. He simply coiled his arms around me even tighter than before, as if I would fly away from him like a bird. I hid my face in his perfectly muscular chest, my breathing raspy and shallow. I felt so safe, as if I was surrounded by a cocoon. Could it be that Jasper had some kind of special power? Like perhaps, a special energy around him that relaxes people, or a scent. Jasper has such a nice scent, warm and it feels so nice… I pulled away from him, sliding up from my position on the floor. He seemed reluctant, but released his iron grasp. I was still fearful of what I had become, but he saved me once again, and guided me towards the right path that I should follow.

"Thank you, Jasper…" I whispered in a light, musical voice. "I am so grateful for everything you have done for me…"

His expression was unreadable, have I said something wrong? Immediately, I regretted saying those words that escaped from my lips.

"Alice, I am so glad you forgive me, after all I couldn't even forgive myself…" He looked so relieved, his face peaceful. "I will do everything I can to protect you…"

I moved forward and stood confidently beside him, interlocking our fingers together. "I'll stay by your side, I promise." He gave my thin fingers a tiny squeeze.

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"Is she awake?" I saw god enter the very room. He looked so familiar, I had met him somewhere before. He was young and blond, with a perfectly structured face and straight, chiseled features. Something about him made me feel as though he was handsomer than any movie star that I have seen. "Alice" He spoke in his smooth, velvety voice "How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm fine" I lied, but I knew he could easily see through my words, I was like an open book, anyone could read me inside out.

"Well, I'm glad." He said. "My name is Doctor Carlisle Cullen, please call me Carlisle."

"Okay, Carlisle" The atmosphere around him was so light, I felt a tiny bit better, despite my circumstances. But, the back of my throat was dry and aching, I was so thirsty…

"Come with us, Alice" I followed eagerly, the room I was in was painful to remain at, all the horrifying memories flooded back into place, casting an enormous shadow. I never want to return.

Carlisle and Jasper led me downstairs, at the edge of the enormous staircase and I saw snow white in the flesh. She was beautiful with long, flowing caramel tresses. That wove gently to the small of her back. She had the same pale face and beautiful features just as the rest of _them_. I didn't belong here, I was the outsider. I felt a sharp pain churn in my stomach, gnawing away at my insides.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice, I'm Esme" She spoke in a melodic voice. Then she reached forward and cradled my hand in hers "I'm so glad that Jasper has found you."

"Yes" I was captivated by her kindness. "It's nice to meet you too." Though, inside I felt hollow, I couldn't bear it for much longer…

"The rest of our family is away for now, would you like to stay her for a while? We will arrange something so that your family is aware."

"Oh, that won't be necessary…"

"Why?"

"I- I" I was at a struggle for words, what could I say? I had to leave, it just didn't seem right with me, to remain here and be a burden to everyone, and above all else, Jasper. I had caused him so much suffering already. I didn't deserve to be with him.

"I'm very sorry…" I said without meeting their intense gazes, but I could feel three pairs of honey-gold eyes boring into the side of my head. "I don't know how I could repay you for everything. Please just pretend that I never existed!"

"Oh, Alice…" Esme whispered quietly, her flawless face sad and broken.

"Alice, you're always welcome here." Carlisle said in a pained voice. "Jasper needs you."

I refused to look at Jasper, who was completely silent. I had vowed to stay with him, but that was impossible now that I think about it. We lived in different worlds, separated from one another. Even though I was exactly like him now, it was still difficult to fit us into the same picture. He always seemed to be above me, I could never measure up to his standards. That's when I made the worst decision imaginable.

Breaking free of my daze, I dashed to the door and rushed into the open. I didn't know where I was going to go. I had to fend for myself, into a world of the unknown where danger lurks in every corner, spreading a vast black void where I stood.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title**: Soulmate

**Pairing:**Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 12/30/08

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 794

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Why am I running? What am I running from?

The wind was whipping past, stinging my flushed cheeks. I didn't look back, I didn't dare. My speed was unimaginable. The endless green flashed before me, then disappeared. My steps were careful, measured, I kept my mind alert, because a part of me knew that he would come to find me. A part of me wanted him to.

NO!

I thought fiercely, nothing I do can make up for how much I hurt him. He would shatter every time he saw me. I had to reject him and push him away, that way he would hate me and the painful feeling in my chest would cease and come to an end. I didn't want that though, I truly didn't… I came to a stop, my body still and unmoving. If that had really happened, I don't know whether I would be relieved or hurt.

Leafs crunched lightly behind me, I did not turn to look because I knew all too well who it was. I just stood there, waiting for him to take me back, pull me into an embrace. He never did any such thing. His sad burning eyes never left me for a single moment, until he backed away quietly. "Goodbye Alice, I won't bother you anymore, I came to tell you that." He faced the other direction and left. Everything faded into black. I wanted to cry, but no tears came out, I just shook wildly, until it was absolutely unbearable. I couldn't stand it for much longer. I reached for him, holding onto him, clutching tightly at his shirt. Gasping for breath, I was almost choking. He still had his back to me, where I rested my head on. My thin arms wrapped around his waist, keeping him within my grasp. I knew the minute I let go, he would be gone like the wind, slipping away silently. For a while we just stood there until he looked at me, his blazing eyes still smoldering. I suddenly had a horrible desire to simply collapse in his arms. He was so strangely beautiful, and the power of his personality was amazing. It was undeniable, I needed him so badly. As much as I wanted to let go, put him in the past, it was impossible. Absolutely impossible.

"There is something I want to say" I whispered into his back. "I don't want to you to hate yourself, you saved me. You should feel that I'm ungrateful for not repaying you. I'm leaving so that you won't be hurt. "

For a fleeting moment I saw a grim smile played on his lips. He used his free hand to trace the outline of my features. He lightly touched the arch of my eyebrow to the spot where he had bitten me. His touch was light, using gentle fingers.

"Alice, what do you want me to do?" He said with grieving eyes. "For you to come back to me again."

The ground beneath me felt rubbery, I stumbled. It was as if I didn't have legs. I was unstable, and there was something wrong with me.

"How can I go back?" I said in a soft voice "I can't"

"Why not?"

"I need to stay away from you." I said in a struggled voice. I wanted him to have the best, not worrying over me. He was living a peaceful, undisturbed life until I appeared. I couldn't stand his sad eyes. They reflected so many events of the past, where I hadn't been able to help him, to comfort him and say that everything was going to be alright. He had enough. I was just another burden, a useless weight. That he had to discard _sometime_. I should let myself go. Also, because my feelings for him evolved greatly, I had to rip the seam that connected us.

He waited patiently, stroking my hair, tucking loose strands back into place. I could sense his sorrow. He leaned very close to me, our foreheads almost touching.

"Is there any other reason, Alice?" He asked patiently, but I could tell he felt broken and useless.

"Because, I-I love you too much…" My lips was hovering an inch from his and I smelled his cold, shallow breath. I pushed myself up, and tenderly pressed my lips against his. For a moment neither of them could resist. The kiss was warm and sweet. Eventually, I pulled back and loosened my grip on him. Before I turned from him and walked back into the darkness. His mouth opened slightly, but then closed again. We went onto our separate paths, following our own destiny. Our paths never crossing again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title**: Huntress

**Pairing:**Jasper/ Alice

**Date**: 1/27/09

**POV:** Alice

**Words**: 837

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I gasped wildly, my breath shallow and wheezy. Why did I do that? I touched my lips gingerly, they were a little swollen. All the events that happened flooded back into place, I struggled to wrap myself around it. I left him. I left my heart with him. There was hardly anything that remained in place. I felt pain, as I held back the urge to just shatter into pieces.

And, I was so thirsty, my throat was aching and dry.

I observed my surroundings with keen eyes. I must have wandered deeper into the lush green forest, losing all sense of direction. Everything appeared to be the same, endless green spreading to the edges of the world. My body felt heavy, and my legs were like rubber underneath me. I need a drink. I won't last for much longer. I inhaled a breath of crisp air, and something lingered in the air. It was a delectable, mouth watering scent that seemed to draw me closer. It drove me absolutely crazy, taking away all that I have that was sane. I followed without hesitation, forgetting about all other things that were burned into my mind. Soon, I reached a clearing placed in the middle of the forest. There stood a small cottage, which looked simple, yet elegant with an untouchable feeling. The scent was still in the air, and was much stronger here. All my senses were ranging loudly, as I eagerly scanned the scenery in front of me.

I saw a shape flash briefly before my eyes. I crept closer, carefully hidden by the looming trees overhead. My body completely concealed by the ghostly shadows. As I reached the cottage, I saw a little girl, no older than eight or nine. She had a head full of beautiful copper curls, bouncing wildly as she moved. Her movements were graceful and fluid, like those of a dancer. Sensing my presence, she turned around immediately. Her chocolate brown eyes were deep and luminous, reflecting my demonic face in the glowing orbs. She was moving back slowly, her face showed unthinkable horror. She was obviously afraid of me… I laughed without humor, of course she would be. I examined her with great interest, my eyes darting like a predator. All this while, she stood motionless, too frightened to move even an inch from her spot.

The gnawing feeling I had disappeared for a moment as I stared painfully at her. How could I bring myself to hurt such an angel? She didn't deserve any of this, what was I thinking? I am not a murderer… And I don't ever want to be. If I had really killed her, how could I ever live with the guilt? I would become the one thing I was frightened of the most, the filthy monster I was desperately trying to escape from.

I was totally off guard for a second, and that was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Somewhere behind me, I heard a snarl. Then the long canines that ripped its way through my flesh. My pale, translucent skin peeled off, a bloody mess lay in its place. I was so stunned, unable to process what had just happened. My head snapped around, and I was speechless. There, standing eerily still the late afternoon light was a large brown wolf, towering before me. I felt the air rushing from my chest. Realizing the situation I was in, my body shifted into a crouch automatically. My feet were planted squarely on the ground, my hands forming into claws. Transforming into a vampire had strengthened my body entirely. My pale limbs were long and elegant. I was built for hunting those insignificant creatures that roamed the world aimlessly. I faced a werewolf without a hint of panic, and I was actually quite amused. There were many things I haven't witnessed yet.

It pounced, bearing its long canines that shone dimly in the sunlight. I dodged easily. My body was soft and fluid with every motion. It didn't give up so easily though, it spun to a stop and came again, this time angling towards my left, hoping to catch me off guard. My new eyes caught everything crystal clear. The werewolf's movements weren't measured properly. Every step was wild and rushed, off balanced. It lunged several times, as we began a complicated dance. Eventually, I fought back, unable to dodge for much longer. I was already kind of exhausted, and surely I don't have time for this. I have to be quick. My right foot impacted with its chest, sending it flying backwards.

I slipped back into the shadows, taking my given opportunity. Then a bright flash came, images flooded into my mind. I froze on the spot instinctively, as if I was trying to prevent myself from moving, I stared blankly at the werewolf as it regained control once more, and was prepared to crush me to pieces.


End file.
